


I Want It All

by Rain4sasha



Category: Dancing with the Stars (US) RPF, Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-01-27 21:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1722554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rain4sasha/pseuds/Rain4sasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where in what he sees makes Charlie White's stomach sick</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want It All

**Author's Note:**

> Written in response to the Mr. Brightside challenge that was issued on Tumblr a week or so ago. I'm just a slower writer than many!

Charlie had given her the benefit of the doubt. The first time Meryl went missing from lunch around the craft services table he had asked her where she went. He listened and nodded as she explained that Danica had been craving a fruit smoothie so they ran out to get some. He didn't press her or ask again when she missed lunch the next two days.

He accepted her flimsy alibi when she arrived late to the airport, almost causing both of them to miss their flight to the next Stars On Ice show. He smiled as she rambled through a story about Jenna needing help making a grocery list. He agreed with her that the 19-year-old was very needy and that Meryl did make the best lists.

He finally confronted her when he had heard from Adam that Ashley had caught Meryl and Maks kissing in the hallway of the hotel. The gossip about his partner with her dance partner had made his blood run hot.

"It was only a kiss Charlie." She had reasoned. "If I had really wanted to do something don't you think I would have gone up to his hotel room?"

He had given her that one. She could always out logic him when she needed to.

"Does it make you jealous?" She continued, her voice and smile teasing him, but there was a sharp flash in her eyes that made him back off.

He didn't get annoyed with her about the whole thing until a practice one day before another ice show. He had noticed a dull, acrid smell when he pulled her close to him to start out one of their numbers. He turned his nose into her hair which smelled stale instead of its normal sweet, floral aroma. He jerked his head back quickly.

"What is that smell?" He had asked a little too accusingly.

"What smell?"

"In your hair."

Meryl turned her head and pulled the end of her pony tail across her face. "Oh." She pause and he could tell she was calculating what to say next. "I went out with Maks for a drink last night. I didn't get a chance to wash my hair this morning."

Charlie leaned in to inhale near her hair again but she had pulled away. "But that's not what it smells like. It smells like stale cigarettes."

"It turns out Maks is one of those guys who likes to smoke when he drinks."

"You were smoking?" Charlie felt his chest start to tighten and his cheeks burn with anger.

"No, Charlie. Maks was smoking. I just stood outside with him. Okay?" She peered at him, her eyes mostly full of guilt. But beneath that Charlie saw another look, a look almost daring him to chastise her. He forcibly deflated himself, exhaling deeply.

"Okay. I'm sorry. You just know how I'm sensitive to smells, and how smoke sometime makes my breathing difficult."

"I'm sorry too." She replied earnestly. "I'll try to shower before the show. I wasn't thinking." With that Charlie took Meryl's hand and pulled her back into hold to restart their routine. But Charlie couldn't get the thought out of his head of wondering how close Meryl had had to be to Maks for her hair to continue to reek of smoke the whole next day.

That thought of how close Meryl and Maks were, of them touching one another, was one that Charlie could inexplicably not shake from his mind. Maks had been touching Meryl from the first moment he met her. At first Charlie hadn't given it much thought. He had understood that this was just part of who Maks was. As an eastern European man who had grown up in the dance community Maks was used to having his hands all over everyone and it not being taboo. Charlie even had received his fair share of bear hugs and back slaps. Charlie had nearly gotten used to seeing Meryl wrapped up in Maks' arms. But something stirred in him when he saw Meryl returning those touches. Charlie first really noticed Meryl reciprocating Maks' physical touch the week the pair had danced the samba. Maks was to dance shirtless and he had spent all of dress rehearsal pretending to be bashful. Maks would pretend to hide behind Meryl, who was a foot shorter than him, or would wrap her arms around his torso as a means to cover his chest. By the live show Meryl had joined in on the fun and was poking fun at Maks' invented insecurities. She began deliberately touching him and running her hands over his chest, causing Maks to pretend to be embarrassed beyond belief. Charlie couldn't remember a time that Meryl had been so flamboyantly flirty with another man and it made his stomach ball up in knots. 

From there on out Meryl and Maks were inseparable. Maks followed her around incessantly, even sitting in on several of their Stars On Ice practice sessions, earning himself a nickname as Meryl's little lamb. Everywhere that Meryl went, Maks was sure to follow. It irked Charlie as he felt like he didn't have a moment to himself with his best friend. Things only got worse as Latin Week approached on the show. The highly sexual dances gave Maks carte blanche to touch her and tease her even more than before. Charlie had to force himself to look away when they practiced rolling their hips together. It made him physically sick to his stomach one day when he overheard Maks asking his classy, beautiful partner to act more like a whore during their dance. So Charlie tried to give Meryl and Maks their space, spending more time practicing with Sharna or on the phone with Tanith. But it seemed that no amount of distraction could get the image out of his head of Maks running his hands all over Charlie's partner. 

It all came to a head the night that Maks and Meryl had performed their rumba. The show had been on for two months at that point and Charlie was exhausted. He had been frustrated the whole week prior due to their ill received paso doble. The producers had flown his mother into LA to film a bit for their package about re-inspiring him, but seeing her just made him more homesick in the end. Charlie couldn't help but count the days until they would have a little vacation and he wouldn't have to fight for Meryl's attention anymore.

So that night, that fateful dance, just hit Charlie the wrong way at the wrong time. As he watched from the skybox he couldn't believe his eyes. The dance was beautiful but terrible and it rubbed him the wrong way. He was impressed with the way Meryl moved, but he couldn't believe Maks would choreograph a number that romanticized a violent relationship. The way Maks grabbed Meryl, the way she moved in his arms, and the way she pulled him into her chest in a close embrace at the end. By the time it was over Charlie wouldn't have been surprised if Maks had ripped Meryl's dress off in front of the entire live viewing audience. Charlie clapped along and compliment the pair at the end, but it was all he could do to stop himself from screaming. He caught up with Meryl at her trailer at the end of the night. Surprisingly Meryl and Maks were the lowest scoring couple for the first time all season. 

"Hey, how're you doing after tonight?" Charlie had asked.

"Alright." Meryl had sighed, seeming surprisingly calm to Charlie. "I'm just ready to sleep for a month straight."

"I know what you mean. Things have been so crazy lately, I miss how they used to be." Charlie ran his hand through his hair. "Do you need a ride home tonight? We could grab a late night snack before I dropped you off at your place."

"Thanks, but that's okay. Maks has already called for my driver and I think we may meet up a little bit later after I get a quick shower." Meryl decline, packing up her work out bag.

"Of course." Charlie muttered, not meaning for her to hear, but his ever observant partner did not miss a beat.

"Excuse me?" She asked, pointedly.

"Nothing, I didn't mean anything."

"If you have something to say to me Charlie we learned long ago that you better just say it." She glared at him head on. No deflecting, no alibis, no excuses. 

"I just don't know what's gotten into you lately. Everything is all about Maks. Practicing with Maks, going out with Maks, dancing with Maks, riding home with Maks. I don't know, even smoking with Maks? And you won't even be up front with me about what is going on with him. I'm not the viewing public, Meryl, you don't need to trick me into voting for you. I'm going to support you no matter what so why can't you just talk to me? I mean are you fucking the guy or what? Because with everything I've seen out in public I can't imagine what's left to do behind closed doors." Charlie exploded, unloading weeks' worth of feelings. 

Meryl stared hard at Charlie, almost deflating him, before stepping past him and reaching for her trailer door. "I'm not even going to dignify any of that with an answer."

Her brush off infuriated Charlie even more. He grabbed her arm, just as Maks had in their dance, and prevented her from leaving. Unlike in her dance Meryl did not slap him. She didn't even turn around to face him. "You're not going to dignify me with an answer? You don't even have the time to talk to me anymore?"

"Let me go."

"No. Tell me."

"Charlie." 

"I want to know. Are you with him?"

"Charlie. Now."

"Not until you tell me."

"Why!?" She turned around and shouted at him, her eyes were on fire. "Why should I tell you? So you can tell me why I shouldn't be with him? So you can tell me all the ways he's wrong for me? So you can tell me how I deserve. So. Much. More." She emphasized each word. 

"That's what you always say, Charlie. Every time I find someone who distracts me from my crazy schedule you find something to nitpick about them. Every time I find someone who makes me happy off the ice you find some reason that they're not the one for me. Every time I find someone who makes me feel like the center of their world you tell me that I deserve better. Well I do deserve better Charlie, but not from Maks, from you. I deserve the one hundred percent support that I give you back in return. I never interfered in your love life. I never tried to talk you out of dating someone. I never told you Tanith was not the girl for you, even when she was our god damn competition!" Charlie took a step back surprised at all the anger coming out of his partner. They rarely fought and never raised their voices to one another. Charlie was completely unprepared for this visceral of a reaction from Meryl.

"That is unfair and untrue." Charlie replied, his voice level.

"Untrue?" Meryl shouted again before taking a deep breath and willingness herself to calm down. "It is true Charlie. Think about it. When I dated Liam in college you told me he was boring. You said Brandon wasn't going anywhere with his life. You practically called Fedor a man whore to his face!"

"I just want you to have the best." He said quietly, defensively. 

"Maybe that's part of it, but I think you want to have your cake and eat it too. You have me during the day to skate with, to travel the world with, to work day in and day out with as a partner and best friend. Then you have Tanith to go home to at night and have a life with. And that's what I want too Charlie. I want someone to have a life with outside of skating and you pull this same shit every time I get close to someone. You get totally over protective and jealous for no reason."

By this point Meryl has dropped her voice back down below even normal level. The fire in her eyes was still there, but the way she looked at him was no longer with anger.

"I think the truth of it is that you're afraid if I have someone in my life there won't be room for you. But there will be. There's room in your life for Tanith and me. I know you want it all, but you need to relax and trust me."

Meryl paused and looked intently at Charlie who appeared scolded but was able to meet her eyes. In there she could still see the questioning look that started this whole ordeal. She slowly went on.

"And as for the question you asked, very rudely I might add, Maks and I are nothing serious. He makes me smile and relax. We're just having fun. I don't know if it'll become anything more but you need to trust that no matter what it is, it will never replace the relationship you and I have."

At that, Charlie pulled Meryl into a hug. "I'm sorry." It was all he could say after the way he had acted.

A knock came on her trailer door before the door swung open and Maks was standing there, clearly unfazed by the embrace and totally unaware of the conflict that had just occurred. "You're car is here babe."

Meryl stepped back from Charlie's embrace. "I'll see you tomorrow okay?" He nodded in response and she turned to leave with Maks. The men exchanged goodnight wishes and then Charlie was left alone. He watched as Meryl tucked herself under Maks arm. As hard as he tried not to, it still sent his stomach for a flip.

A week later the show tried one final time to pit Charlie and Meryl against one another, putting them both in jeopardy of going home. Unfortunately it was Charlie's time on the show that came to an end. With a big smile on his face he chose to look on the bright side of going home. He took the opportunity to declare his love and one hundred percent support of Meryl. When he looked back at Meryl, he found her once again wrapped up in Maks' arms. Charlie felt that all too familiar sickness in his stomach and forced himself to smile even wider.


End file.
